A few days ago I had the smoothest score and ahem… (well you know what I’m saying) in my dating career, and it all commenced like this: I walked up to an unknown woman and stated (making sure I was using a clear, vibrant voice and disinterested, but relaxed and flirtatious body language), “Hi there.”

The lovely lady looked up at me, awaiting to hear something absorbing. I simply followed up with, “Do you know where the ice cream place is? I’m in the mood for an ice cream.”

This made it easy for her to keep the communication going. Simple enough, right? This is essential: I always made sure that she was responding to me more than I was responding to her. When I first met her, I really didn’t care at all about what her view point was of me. My mentality was this, “I’m just cruising through my day. And if some young woman is looking to earn my attention, I’m happy with it. If not, I will still enjoy the rest of my day.”

I’ve coached a ton guys, and the error I often witness a guy make when he starts talking to a lady is that he tries to force a response from her. Sometimes he tries too hard to be funny and make her laugh. Or, he starts asking her weird questions that he should not be interested in when talking to a complete stranger (things like, “Are you in school?” or “Are you having a good day?”).

This gives her the edge! When you give a girl more value than yourself (especially when you’re trying to win her over), it can cause her to lose interest in you. In all conversations, most often there is one of you that is responding much more than the other one. The person whom responds the least (more likely is calmer than the other one) is the more empowered, or alpha person.

If you appear to be that you are more attracted to her than she is to you, you are demonstrating that you need their approval more than she might need yours. This means that the other person will clamber to keep the conversation working as long as you have a higher value than hers.

Women are more drawn to intriguing men. If at some point you make it obvious that you’re trying to win her over, then there’s no longer a challenge for her and she will lose interest. Always maintain the alpha (or in control) status and keep in command of the conversation from the start. Ensure not to ever overreact too much to what a girl says. Always be more laid-back and in control than her.

So, what is the most effective method to start out a conversation with a lady? Don’t try to hard. Don’t show that you are too concerned with what she is thinking of you. Just be yourself. This is just one of hundreds of techniques that I learned from the Alpha Male System!